Injury Update: 4 months later

Yesterday marked 4 months since I suffered a pubic ramus stress fracture, but I didn’t get the official diagnosis until 2.5 months later.  At that time I had attempted a few very short runs and they were extremely painful.  I could “tough it out” for a mile or two but there was no joy in it.  The whole time I was gritting my teeth, clenching my fists, and willing myself to go just a bit farther.  It was miserable.

Even before I got the diagnosis I had decided to take the entire month of December off from running.  I figured since it was such a crazy month with all of the Christmas parties, school parties, family dinners, and rushing around it would be a good time to do it.  Once I got the diagnosis I didn’t know if taking a month off of anything that could possibly irritate it would help but I at least knew that it wouldn’t hurt it.  So, for the month of December I only did my elliptical a few times (it didn’t bother it, but I was really trying to just stay off my feet as much as possible), and mostly concentrated on upper body strength training.  I did some squats maybe once or twice a week, but I stayed away from lunges, dead lifts, and calf raises because in the past I always had some slight pain when doing those exercises.  As I had suspected I was so busy with everything else going on that month that the time really did seem to fly by.

The day of Christmas I woke up to a beautiful, sunny day.  I decided that I wanted to go for a walk to see how it would feel.  To my surprise, and for the first time since the injury in September, I could walk (more than a slow stroll) without pain.  I couldn’t believe it.  I picked up the pace a little (going into a brisk walk) to see what would happen and still there was no pain.  After walking more than a mile pain-free I had to give jogging a try.  I told myself 2 things: #1-Go SLOW, #2-if you have to grit your teeth, clench your fists, and convince yourself to keep going then it’s time to STOP.  So, I started shuffling along in a very slow jog.  It didn’t hurt.  I was “aware” of the area, but not in a way that I felt that it was going to cause problems later.  On a pain scale, the most I would rate what I felt would be a 1.  More of a “there used to be something there” feeling.  Going up hills still caused a little discomfort (even if I stopped and walked it) so I would slow it down even more.  I finished that day with a 3 mile run!  I can’t even describe to you how it felt.  I honestly think that the most notable feeling was disbelief that I had actually ran without pain.  I had actually completed a run with a smile on my face and feeling HOPEFUL that things were falling back into place.

In the 3 weeks since then I’ve run 7 more times for a total of 29 miles (including my first run).  The most discomfort that I’ve felt during any of the runs is a “1″, and that tends to be when I’m going up hills (and again, that happens even when I’m walking up a hill).  I’ve even had a few runs that I felt nothing at all.  Thanks to a 3.5 month break my average pace right now is 60-90 seconds slower than it used to be.  But I honestly don’t care.  Right now I am enjoying being able to go for a run, no matter how slow it is.  I typically end up taking a walk break or two in the beginning to make sure that the ligaments connected to the fractured bone are warm and stretchy before I run for longer distances.  I haven’t even gotten my Garmin back out, because I’m not ready for that yet.  Maybe in another few weeks when I’ve been running for 6 weeks or so, and I’ve had time to build some endurance back up, I’ll be ready.  But right now I don’t want the added pressure that I know that the watch will bring.  Yes, I know it’s pressure that I put on myself, but I know how I am and I know what will come with wearing the watch.

For now, I’m taking it easy.  I have no plans on how many days I’ll run in a week or how long I’ll run when I step out the door.  I’m taking it day by day, and I’m listening to my body.  I’m taking it easy, and I’m respecting my body.

And since I’m giving an injury update, I feel like I should give an update on the effects of the injury in my day-to-day life as well since it doesn’t just effect my running. Some of the things that bother it seem to be random.  Sometimes I step a certain way and I feel a pull or a twinge and sometimes I don’t.  Sometimes I shift my weight to my right leg and it hurts and sometimes it doesn’t.  Sometimes I still feel tenderness when I’m bending over to put on my pants while standing on my right leg and sometimes I don’t.  Sometimes I can do certain exercises without pain and sometimes I can’t.  I take this as an improvement because all of those things used to hurt all the time.   It’s pretty much a toss-up as to what’s going to make it hurt.  I basically just go about my life as I normally would and if I do something that bothers it on that day, I don’t do it again that day.  But the next day that might not bother it.

There are a few things that still cause twinges/pain/discomfort/tenderness (whatever you want to call it) regularly.  Sitting (especially straight up) for long periods of time.  When watching TV I try to lay down instead, or at least recline so that I’m not sitting straight on my butt.  Stepping up onto a high step with my right leg.  Occasionally I’ll have a twinge when stepping up onto even a small step/curb.  I try to remember to step up with my left leg, but if I forget I don’t forget again!  Carrying anything too heavy causes a feeling of pressure in the area of the injury and sometimes a twinge.  Bending over and picking up anything that’s more than a few pounds and then trying to stand back up straight is a no-no.  Standing for long periods of time always causes aches/pains in the area later in the day.  Being actively playful with my family is dangerous.  The other day we were out at a park walking around and the hubby challenged us all to a race.  We all took off running (up a hill) and 2 steps in I was hurting.  If I had thought about the injury before I took off I wouldn’t have done it, but I got caught up in the moment of wanting to play with my family and completely forgot about it.  I paid for that decision with some tenderness for the next 2 days.

Some days it’s just sensitive.  It could come after a day or working out or it could come after a day when I took it easy.  Some days the actual bone just aches, kind of like a tooth ache.  Some days it’s tender with just about everything that I do.  On these days I do as little as possible.  These days are becoming fewer and farther between but they still pop up from time to time.

I go back to the doctor on the 30th and I’ve got a list of things that I want to ask him about.  Unfortunately this isn’t a common running injury stress fracture site so I’m not sure how much of it he is going to be able to help me with.  My biggest saving grace these days is that I have a running friend who is suffering from the same exact injury as me (opposite side).  She’s 3 more months into it than I am so I have an idea of what I’ve got in store for me.  I realize that we may heal at different rates, but it at least gives me a point of reference.  If it weren’t for her I know that I would have gone crazy by now.  We talk through emails/messages a few times a week and on the phone a few times a month.

I don’t know how much longer it’ll take until it is completely healed and I’m back to 100%.  But right now, I’m good with where I’m at.

Keeping your expectations realistic.

I’ve been thinking a lot about expectations lately, especially with it being the time of year that nearly everyone has goals/resolutions that they hope to achieve.  Unfortunately most people abandon their dreams too soon because their expectations are set too high.  Dreaming big is a wonderful thing, but typically the things most worth having are going to take time.  You are going to have to work hard to get there.  You are going to have to make sacrifices and changes to get there.  But you will get there as long as your expectations are realistic.

You likely are not going to be able to go from not working out at all to working out 7 days a week forever.  Even if you start out strong something is going to happen and you’re going to miss a day, and then you’ll feel like a failure.  This is the “All Or Nothing” trap.  If you currently aren’t working out and would like to start, then I suggest starting by telling yourself that you are going to work out 3 times a week.  You may have a higher “end goal” than that, but it’s a good place to start.  It will allow your body time to recover and to become acclimated to working out, and it will seem less overwhelming than a goal of working out every day.  Once you feel like you are ready then you can add another day of activity, and continue to do so until you reach your goal.  I suggest doing the same with the amount of time you spend working out.  Start with a 30 minute workout, and then after a few weeks add 10-15 minutes to one of your workouts.  Continue slowly increasing your workout times until you reach your goal.  3 days a week for 30  minutes may not seems like a lot to start with, but believe me when I tell you that it is more than enough for a beginner!  Beginning 2/1/2012 I will be offering Online Training Plans. I would love to help you reach your fitness goals!  If you are interested email me at melissa@mechanged.com

Weight loss is another area where people tend to set the bar too high.  I’m sure that most of us at some point have said “I’m going to lose 10lbs in a week” or something equally ridiculous.  So we starved ourselves, worked out like crazy people, and after a week we didn’t reach our goal and we feel like failures.  Or maybe you did reach your goal, but once you started eating normally again you gained most (or all) of the weight back.  First of all it’s good to keep in mind that the average HEALTHY weight loss is 1-2 pounds per week.  If you drastically change your food intake (but in a healthy manner) it is possible to lose a higher amount for the first week or two, but that is due to losing a lot of water weight.  Like with exercise, it’s best to start out slowly so that you don’t overwhelm yourself.  Your first step should be to figure out how many calories you need to eat a day in order to achieve your goal.  I love SparkPeople.  It allows you to enter your information and it gives you all the numbers that you need to know (calories, fat, protein, carbs).  The site offers a large database of food, and once you get your favorites marked adding your meals is a breeze.  Here’s a calculator that will tell your what your calorie goal should be to maintain your weight and lose weight.  If you are interested in joining more than an online program, I HIGHLY suggest Weight Watchers.  Having reached goal weight and becoming a lifetime member with WW I have a special place for it in my heart.  And remember I wasn’t truly successful until my 5th or 6th attempt with WW, so if you’d tried it once and it didn’t work out for you, there’s no harm in trying it again.  With that being said I do realize that it isn’t for everyone.  Once you’ve figured out what your plan is it’s time to get started.  Maybe you want to start by tracking what you normally eat to get an idea of what your starting point is.  This makes it easier to see exactly where you need to make changes.  I’m almost 3 years out from the day that I walked into WW, and even though I don’t follow WW anymore I STILL track my food (at SparkPeople).  It never fails that when I stop tracking my food is when my weight starts to creep up.  Another good starting point is measuring your food to learn correct portion sizes.  This is always an eye-opener!  Cutting back on your portion sizes is a great way to start to cut calories.  Another great way is to start swapping out full-fat products for reduced-fat equivalents.  If it seems like a lot to make all of these changes at once then pick one and start there.  Once you feel like you’ve got that one under control then add in another one.  Continue making changes until you feel like you have a healthy eating plan.

If you keep your expectations realistic, and put in the work that is required, you will achieve your goals.  It may not happen as quickly as we’d like, but it WILL happen. But if you start out with unrealistic expectations you are setting yourself up for failure before you ever have the chance to succeed.

What if…

When I woke up on New Year’s Eve it was a beautiful day.  I started thinking about heading out for a walk, and maybe even a run (yes, I’m running a little again, but I’ll tell you about that in another post).  The more I thought about it the more I knew that I really needed to get out the door.  I wanted some quiet time to reflect on what 2011 had brought me, and I needed to think about what I wanted to accomplish in 2012.

So, I got ready, told the hubby I’d be back in about an hour and hit the road.  I kept the music off for a while and just spent the time thinking back to January 1, 2011 and all of the goals that I had hoped to accomplish in 365 days.  It wasn’t long before I started thinking about my injury.  Not a surprise, really, considering it had the biggest impact on my life in 2011.

So, then I started asking myself the “what ifs”.

What if I hadn’t gotten hurt?

What if I had run my first marathon?

How would my life had been different on that walk if I had accomplished it all?

I thought about all of the things that I’velearned since September.  I thought about how much I’d changed in 3 short months.  I thought about the patience that I’ve had to work on.  I thought about the good and the bad.  And then I realized something.

If I hadn’t gotten hurt, if I had run the marathon, I would have missed out on all of that.  I would have been out on that New Year’s Eve morning walk not having learned anything that I didn’t already know before the injury.  I knew when I signed up for the marathon that I could do it.  (I’m not saying that to be cocky, but if I had doubted my ability then I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place.)  But do you know what I didn’t know?

I didn’t know that I could suffer such a major setback and overcome it.  I didn’t know that I was strong enough to endure the type of pain that I’ve experienced.  I didn’t know that getting injured was going to be one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Now when I think to myself “What if I hadn’t gotten hurt” I don’t feel sad, or disappointed, or let down.  Instead I feel thankful for the experience.

2012 Goals

I spent a lot of time over the weekend thinking about what I wanted my goals for 2012 to be.  Last year I had some pretty ambitious goals, and due to my injury I failed to meet some of them.  Since I’m still not able to run/work out at my usual levels, and since I’m not sure how long it will be until I can, my goals this year are a little different.  So, without further ado….

2012 Goals

Personal:

*Run smart, Respect my body

(Allow my body proper healing time from injury, slowly get back into running, listen to my body and give it proper rest/recovery time)

*Get back to my happy weight and stay within 2lbs

(Track food daily, 64oz. or more (aim for 100oz.) of water daily, at least 5 days of exercise each week)

*Continue living a healthy and balanced life

(Don’t stress about food and exercise.  Missing a workout or taking time off isn’t the end of the world.  Eating outside of the norm occasionally isn’t going to undue years of hard work)

*Be a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister

(Make more  time for all of the important people in my life.  More frequent date nights with KJ.  More 1-on-1 time with each of the boys.  More time with friends.  Call/See my family more often) 

Business:

*Get additional certifications

(Fitness Nutrition Specialist certification, and Specialized Training for Pregnant/Senior/Youth Clients)

*Increase number of clients

(Get more boot camp classes going, Get clients through my new online training products)

To My Family: A letter of apology

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that I haven’t been myself over the last 3+ months.

I’m sorry that I’ve been meaner, more moody, and sometimes miserable to be around.

It’s nothing that you’ve done.  It’s all me.  I love you all more than words can ever explain, and I love our life.  I don’t like myself when I get mad and yell at you over stupid things.  I can’t stand myself when I get frustrated so easily.  It makes me feel even worse than I already did.  I don’t like being the way that I’ve been lately.  Thankfully the days that I act like a beast have gotten less numerous over the past 6 weeks, but they still pop up from time to time.

I know that you all love me anyway, and that you forgive me always but I still owe you an apology.  And I’d like the chance to explain things a little.  Now before I get started I want you to know that I know that what I’m going through is not the end of the world.  I know that I brought this on myself by not taking better care of my body.  I know that worse things happen to people every day.  I know that I’m a lucky lady who has a loving family, good health, and great friends.  I’m very fortunate!

Now, I want you to sit back and think about some things for a second.  Think about the things that make you who you are.  The things that you feel like you’d be lost if you ever had to live without them.  My list is simple: God, you guys, my family and closest friends, and running.  I know that you might roll your eyes to see running on my list.  In fact, before I became a runner I would have rolled my eyes if I had seen that list.  But not now.

When I started running I uncovered a whole new piece of me that I never knew existed.  I found the thing that taught me that I can do things that I never thought possible.  I found the thing that allowed me a healthy outlet for my emotions.  I found the thing that helped me to be a better person for all of you.  I found a new way to have time with God.  I found meaningful friendships. The things that make me who I am are so tightly woven together that without one of them the whole bunch seems “out of whack”.  And that’s how I’ve been feeling since my injury….”out of whack”.

Some days I miss running so bad that I just want to scream and cry until I can’t scream and cry any more.  I miss the feeling of accomplishment.  I miss the peace that it brings me.  I miss the feeling of freedom.  Some days I want so badly to feel the road under my feet that I feel like I could crawl out of my skin.  I miss being able to leave all of my negativity and stress on the street.  Some days I’m so angry at myself for getting myself in to this situation that I can’t stand it.  The days I just described are the days that I’m at my worst.  I know that it isn’t a good excuse.  I know that I should just get over it.  I know that it’s hard to understand how running can mean so much to me.  Some days it’s hard for me to understand how it became such a big part of the person that I am today.

I know that I can live without running another step, but I pray that I never have to.  Running is NOT more important to me than you all or God or my family and friends or my health, but it is important to me. I know that one day this bump in the road will all be a distant memory and that it is nothing compared to the trials that others go through, but in the mean time I hope that this letter has helped you to understand things a little better.

I hope that you never doubt my love for you all, and that you realize how truly happy you all make me.  Thank you for loving me and putting up with me even when I’m at my worst.

2011 Goals…Revisited.

Last New Year’s Eve I posted my goals for 2011.  I had big plans for this year.  I’m a little disappointed that I wasn’t able to accomplish all of them but I am proud of the ones that I did.  So, let’s do a little recap of each of my goals and an update on each of them.

*Run 2-3 half marathons.  Right now I’m planning on running this one and possibly this one 4 weeks later.  

*I only ran 1 half marathon in 2011.  I had bronchitis for the first one that I had planned so it was a no-go.  I did run the Publix Half in March, and got a PR (personal record)!  I had another half planned in October but due to my injury it didn’t happen either.

*Run a half marathon in less than 2 hours.  Even if it’s 1:59:99.     This is going to take some serious training, and a pretty flat course.

*Didn’t happen.  But I did get pretty close!  I beat my PR of 2:06:50 by more than 5 minutes in March (finishing in 2:01:35).

*Run a full marathon.  I’ve already told you guys about this one. 

*This one doesn’t really need to be explained any further.

*Run a 5K at a 9 minute mile pace or better.

*Accomplished!!  I ran a 5K (3.24 miles actually) in 27:22 (8:26 average pace).

*Get certified as a personal trainer and start working as one.  My test is on 1/25/11.  I’m definitely nervous.  If I don’t pass, then I have to pay $250 to retest.  YIKES.

*DONE!  I passed the test and officially started training clients in March.  I absolutely LOVE what I do.  I’m also looking forward to introducing some new options to my clients in the new year!

*Work more on strength training.  Particularly my upper body.  Get in at least 2 days of upper body work each week.

*Check!  I’m sure that there were a few weeks throughout the year that I didn’t accomplish this, but I would say that I accomplished this 95+% of the year.  

*Maintain my current weight range (135-140) at each monthly WW weigh-in.

*Hmmmm.  I run an average of 10lbs above that range (145-150), but honestly I’m MUCH, MUCH happier with this weight.  I’ve come such a long way in my relationship with food this year.  I’m not going to count this as a “no” because I honestly don’t want to be within that weight range any more.  I realized that I did not want to eat the way that I would have to to maintain that weight for the rest of my life.  And really….I think I looked too skinny at 135.  

1 year ago…135lbs

Now…150lbs (though I do prefer 145)

*Make good food choices.  Eat as fresh and healthy as possible, but without depriving myself of an occasional treat.

*Yes, Yes, YES!  As I said above I really do have a better attitude toward food than I did at the beginning of the year.  When I started my journey I obviously had an unhealthy relationship with food.  However, I truly believe that at the end of last year I the opposite, yet equally unhealthy, relationship with food.  Food and eating was constant sources of stress for me.  Since quitting WW things have been much better.  I’ve learned more about nutrition and how to use food to fuel my body.  I’ve finally reached the place that I’ve always wanted to be…just living a healthy life.

*Learn more about nutrition and the role that it plays.

*Absolutely! See above.

I’m not sure what my goals for 2012 will be (aside from recovering and slowly getting back into running), but I’m in the process of figuring it out and I will be sure to post them next week.

Lessons learned.

When I sit back and think about how much I have changed over the past few years it never ceases to amaze me.  I’ve went from the 255-pound girl who was unhealthy and unhappy to a “normal girl”.  There are times when some of my old habits/issues creep back in, but I feel like I’ve learned to manage them better.  Sometimes I struggle, but I’ve let go of the “all or nothing” mentality.  Life is going to throw you some curve balls, but that doesn’t mean that you are going to lose.  You just have to look at those times as teaching moments.  I’ve learned so much about myself since I walked into that WW meeting room almost 3 years ago, and I know that I have a lifetime of more lessons to learn.  I regularly notice changes in myself (I’m not talking physical changes, either), but this holiday season there have been a few that have really stood out above the others.

Thanks for the cookies, Moe!

For instance, a plate of home-made chocolate chip cookies (made by our elf, of course) can sit on my counter for days and not stress me out.  I don’t HAVE to eat them.  Not only that but I can actually eat ONE cookie and be fine!  In fact, it took 5 or 6 days before the last of the cookies were eaten and that is with 6 people in this house!  I was impressed.  :)

Another example is that I have a lot of candy, cake mixes, icing, and other baking goodies sitting around the house right now, and I haven’t really been all that tempted to “dig in”.  One thing that has helped is that I have a set baking day and I keep telling myself to wait until then.  Another helpful tidbit has been that my desire to keep myself and my family eating healthy as much as possible during this time of year has far outweighed any desire that I’ve had to whip something up.

With that being said, I think the biggest change I’ve experienced this holiday season pertains to fitness.  Since I began my weight loss journey my newly found love of fitness was bordering on obsession.  If I didn’t get in 5-6 days of exercise I felt guilty and bad about myself.  If I didn’t burn X calories each day I felt like I failed.  I constantly stressed about trying to fit in a run/workout.  And I think even a small part of me worried that if I didn’t work out that hard/often that I would gain my weight back.  Thanks to my injury I’ve had to step back and look at things a little differently.  Constantly pushing myself and not allowing enough rest/recovery time is what led me to the situation that I’m in now.  My goal during this recovery phase is to get in 3-5 days of activity, but I’ve also realized that sometimes life may be too hectic to even fit in that many workouts.  And you know what else I’ve realized….THAT IT IS OKAY!  The holiday craziness will all soon be over, and my normal craziness will resume and then it will be easier to fit everything in.  My focus right now is enjoying Christmas with my family, and allowing my body time to recover.  One more lesson I’ve learned is that not exercising doesn’t equal regaining 100+ lbs.  I’ve had to adjust my calories intake since my injury, but that has only meant reducing my portion sizes and snacks a little.  It’s not like I was working out all the time and eating unhealthy foods.  I’m still eating the same foods that I was when I was burning 3000+ calories a week, I’m just eating less of them.  Which is fine because I’m obviously not as hungry these days.

I know that I’m going to have times that I struggle, and I know that there will be times that I fall.  I know that this will be a life long “journey”.  But more than any of that, I know that as long as I stay the course I’ll make it just fine.

 

Misdiagnosis (Hamstring vs. Stress Fracture)

Last week I was officially diagnosed with a Pubic Ramus Stress Fracture.  The diagnosis came 11 weeks after I was initially diagnosed with a partial hamstring tear.  For the most part during the 11 weeks I believed that it was a hamstring injury, but at times I questioned the diagnosis and felt like it was a bone injury instead of muscular.  Some things just didn’t seem consistent with a muscle tear.

I’m going to start from the beginning and go into more detail than I have before about my injury.  This post will get long.

On the day of the injury, 15.5 miles into an 18 mile run I experienced extreme pain in my lower right butt area (a little above where the butt meets the leg).  It literally felt like someone was trying to rip my hamstring right out of me.  I was able to somehow zone out and fight through the pain and finish the run to get back to my car.  I stopped by a store on the way home to pick up ice (for my ice bath) and chocolate milk (my favorite long-run recovery drink).  I remember having an incredibly hard time walking through the store.  I was barely able to put any weight on my right leg, but I limped my way through the store and back to the car.  After the 15 minute drive home, I turned to grab the bags of ice out of the passenger seat and felt intense pain.  I grabbed the bags and got out of the car and couldn’t put any weight on my right leg without extreme pain.  I honestly could not walk, and my first thought was a pelvic stress fracture.  The pain was so intense that I honestly don’t remember how I got into the house and up the stairs.  I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t crawl.  It was the worst pain I’d ever felt in my life (and I delivered 3 children naturally and had more kidney stones that I can count).  I remember screaming and crying while pulling myself up the stairs.  Once I got up the stairs I called my husband and told him that I had a serious injury.  I told him that I was probably going to need him to come home and take me to the doctor.  The only way I could get around was by crawling and dragging that leg behind me.  It was still excruciating but it was the only choice I had.  I took an ice bath, hoping that it would offer some relief, but it didn’t.  I crawled out of the tub, dried off, threw on a t-shirt and shorts and crawled into the bed.  I was hoping that if I laid down for an hour or so that I’d be able to get around a little better.  It was a very restless time.  It was excruciating to even try to roll over.

Finally after an hour I gave up and called the hubby and told him to head home.  I still couldn’t walk at all and limping was extremely painful.  I tried to call a few orthopedic doctors but no one could get me in (it was after noon on a Friday).  I debated between the ER and an urgent care facility, and decided to go to urgent care.  Once there the doctor asked me some questions and examined me.  I mentioned an XRay to rule out a stress fracture and he told me that it wasn’t necessary.  He said that he felt like it was a muscle strain and that if I wasn’t better by the end of the weekend to see a specialist early the next week.  I stayed on crutches for the rest of that day and began taking the pain medicine and muscle relaxer that he prescribed.  Neither seemed to help so I quit taking them on Saturday.  By Saturday morning I was able to limp/shuffle around so I quit using the crutches.  It was still extremely painful, but even with the crutches I had pain every time my pelvis would swing forward.

The following Tuesday I saw an orthopedist and told him what had happened and what the urgent care doctor had said.  After his examination he diagnosed me with a partial hamstring tear at or near my ischial tuberosity (where the hamstring connects to the bone) and told me to rest it and come back in 4 weeks.  I did as I was told and things improved very, very slowly.

By the time I saw him again (5 weeks post-injury), he was surprised that it had taken me 4 weeks to be able to walk normally.  He said that it must have been a more serious tear than we previously thought, and for me to give it 2-3 more weeks before trying to run.  He gave me the okay to start some light strength training and some gentle stretching.  He added that if in another 4 weeks I wasn’t back to running to come back to him.  Again, I followed doctor’s orders and started out with walking. This is when I first started noticing some oddities.  I started with a mile and worked my way up over the next few weeks.  Each time when walking I felt pain within the first 1/4 mile, but it was bearable.  Unlike the muscle injuries that I’d had in the past, the pain/discomfort didn’t get better as I went on…it got worse.  Typically with muscular injuries once blood starts flowing to the area and the muscle gets warm and loose the pain will go away.  Instead the farther I went the more it hurt.  I tried jogging a few times and it was worse than walking.  The pain was more intense and not bearable.  During this time I also worked on strength training and stretching.  I found it a little strange that I could do squats, lunges, deadlifts, and stretches all day and have no pain.  But bending over to put on my pants (while standing on my right leg) was painful and required me to hold on to the sink.  Carrying anything that added weight caused a lot of pressure in the area of my injury.  Wearing any type of shoe with a heel was painful.  And no matter how many times I tried I could never “find” the injury spot by pushing around on the muscle near the injury site.  Days came and went, weeks passed, and before I knew it I was 4 weeks out from my last appointment and still not back to normal.

The doctor was even more surprised to see me back at 9 weeks post-injury.  I requested an MRI, and he agreed that at this point it was a good idea.  If nothing else it would give us the peace of mind that we needed to know that it was healing well.  It’s crazy because looking back, I think that I’ve “known” all along that it was a stress fracture.  The nagging idea was always in the back of my mind from that very first day when I couldn’t walk.  But my symptoms were also similar to that of a hamstring tear, so I can see how that diagnosis was given.  When I woke up last Monday to go to the doctor for my MRI results I was nervous. I was worried that nothing showed up on the MRI, but I was mostly worried that he was going to confirm my self-diagnosis.  I didn’t want it to be a stress fracture even though deep down I knew that it was.  At this point it was the only thing that made sense.

Surprisingly, I’ve handled the diagnosis fairly well.  I think that is mostly in part to the fact that I finally know for sure what the problem is.  I try not to think about how much longer it’s going to be before I can run again.  I hope that I’m one of the lucky ones who can run sooner rather than later, but I’m trying to prepare myself just in case that I’m not.  This week will mark 3 months since the injury occurred.  These 3 months have been very eye-opening for me.  It’s allowed me to take a step back and see how hard I was pushing my body.  I had warning signs prior to this injury that I chose to ignore.  I wish that I had learned the lesson without this consequence, but I have no doubt that in the future I will be a lot more appreciative of the ability to run and a lot more in tune with what my body is trying to tell me.

It’s a stress fracture after all…

A few weeks ago my doctor decided to go ahead and send me for an MRI since I was still having trouble with my injury.  I went yesterday to get the results and it turns out that my injury is NOT a hamstring tear, but a stress fracture of the pubic ramus bone (the bone inside your butt cheek that your hamstring attaches to).

Honestly, I wasn’t surprised.  On the day of my injury my initial “gut feeling” was that it was a stress fracture.  Given that it was the most intense pain I’d ever experienced (and I had 3 natural child births!) and the fact that I couldn’t put any weight on that leg at all.  But the doctor at the urgent care place that day told me that it was muscular.  Even though a part of me feels like I should be upset for being misdiagnosed, I’m not.   Mainly because the treatment plan is the same for both injuries.  The only upside to having known this for the past 11 weeks would have been not wondering why it wasn’t getting better.  Now that I know what the problem is I have a clearer picture of how much longer I’m going to be out (best case scenario another 2-3 months).  I’m honestly just happy to have some answers.   And I’m happy that I was right all along.  A part of me believed that I had a hamstring tear but there were always a few things that struck me as “odd” for a muscle injury.  I’m working on a post about that, and I’ll have it up later this week.

I know that there are others out there who have experienced the same injury and that have more than likely (apparently it’s common) been misdiagnosed with a muscle injury, and I want to get up as much information as possible!

I’m a freak…

A control freak that is…(but more on that in a bit)

It’s that time of year again.  The time where my days are full of school parties, appointments, and family gatherings on top of my already very full calendar.  ACK!  It won’t slow down from now until the first of the year.  Hopefully I’m up for the challenge.  :)

This week has been full of a dentist appointment, a doctor appointment, a field trip with my 2nd grader, several personal training clients, equipment turn-ins (now that football is over), and wrestling practices.  Are you tired yet?  This weekend is going to be even crazier with football championship games, 2 end-of-the-season banquets, and a Thanksgiving dinner.  This weekend will also mark 1 year since my sweet Paw-Paw passed away.  And on top of that, tomorrow would have been his birthday.  Before I start crying, let’s move on to something else.

Of course, this subject really makes me want to cry too…

I attempted another run yesterday.  That makes my 3rd attempt since my injury 9 weeks ago.  The last 2 attempts ended with me only being able to run 1/4 mile before I started hurting.  I decided that this time I would do 1 minute run/walk intervals and hope that it would allow me to run farther.  No such luck.  :(  So, I head back to the orthopedic doctor tomorrow, and this time I’m not leaving until he does some scans.  I’m still kicking myself for not requesting them at the first (or 2nd) appointment, but it’s too late to worry about that now.  At this point given that I still can’t run, or walk long distances (or fast) without pain I just want to make sure that the muscle is healing correctly.  There are a few other things that I would have guessed would be better by this point in my recovery as well.  Like, if I lean over to put pants on and put all my weight on my injured leg I still have sharp, shooting pains.  Also, I still can’t flex my knee against resistance without feeling sharp, shooting pains.  Hopefully I’ll get some more informed answers tomorrow.

On a (very) positive note, I have felt more in control of my life in the past week than I have since my injury.  I’m really shifting my focus onto the things that I can control and it has helped tremendously.  And feeling like I’m back in control has led to me being in a much better mood.  I never before realized that I was such a control freak!